I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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