Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
