I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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