Jerry, you need to find god
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
