I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
