In the future we'll all be gay
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
