you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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