If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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