So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What a dumb baby whore.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
