Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
