escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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