Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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