Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
