i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize