It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
