I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
