Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I need moral support for this bender
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize