I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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