Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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