My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
