sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
