Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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