I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
