I'm eating all of the evidence.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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