Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
