I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
