Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We have so much sex to catch up on
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
