She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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