I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
