Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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