girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
