It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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