Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
