You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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