Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Watching her eat just hurts me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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