can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
