I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
