sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
