he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
