I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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