I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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