There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So here I am, sexting at work.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
