Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
soo... how was my night?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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