pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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