I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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