I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
