dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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