Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
