SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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