You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My life is pants optional.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
