walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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