Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
