Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
