the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize