Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
