I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
