return my video game
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize