Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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