I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
