hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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