Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
