I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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