Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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