So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
