oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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