Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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